Big Decisions

4 years ago I spent a lot of rough nights crying into Spencer's shoulder, wondering if getting married was the right thing for us. Even though I knew I loved him. Looking back, I have no idea what I was thinking! He is my perfect other half. Back then we were so carefree. Our biggest decision was what the center pieces for the wedding would look like, and who's house we were hanging out at for the night. Our life was full of love and bliss and we were so so so excited about the road ahead of us.

We got married and we started married life. I'm not going to say our first year was perfect or easy, because it was hard! Adjusting to living with someone, compromising, and dealing with life as an adult is a big adjustment from living with your parents and doing fun things every night. But let me tell you. I loved that first year. Our love got so much stronger and we learned more about each other than we ever thought possible. This man took care of me and loved me, I made him dinners and became a housewife to take care of him! We also made the decision to get pregnant and got to go through the first few months of that in our first year. And while we had more worries, our lives were all about each other. And we loved it.

 Our second year of marriage was so fun! We got to welcome our sweet baby daughter into our lives and we got to grow into not only husband and wife, but mommy and daddy. We learned patience, we learned understanding, and we learned that having a baby really changes your relationship. We learned that there are so many more important things in life than playing all the time. We learned that time together was very rare and that we needed to take advantage of it. We learned to love each other even more than we ever thought was possible. We had some hard decisions. We moved, we saw my first snow in AZ, we went back and visited Spencer's mission, we chose a baby name (a WAY bigger decision than we thought it was going to be!), we had a Christmas visit to Illinois, and we had a few things with Spencer's health that weren't so great, but we made it through and came out on top.

Our third year of marriage was one for the books. We had our days full of chasing around a mobile baby, we celebrated her her first birthday, we started making friends in the ward, we made some changes with Spencer's degree and struggled through semesters of seemingly never ending homework, we spent time with family, went on my first CRUISE,  and we decided to have another baby. Unfortunately it didn't happen the way we thought it would. We decided to start trying in September and struggled through 6 months of negative pregnancy tests before we finally got pregnant in March! It was a long 6 months that really tried our relationship. We struggled. We were both sad, and exhausted, and didn't know why things were happening the way they were. We were also struggling more with Spencer's heart. We definitely had our moments of tension and trying to decide how we were going to parent and how we were going to split the responsibilities, but we were so elated with our little jelly bean growing in my belly that we ended the year on a good note!

And this last year. This last year has been probably one our hardest and most rewarding years yet. I went through a pregnancy that was really hard for me, I chased around a toddler, we have had lots of doctor visits for Spencer's heart, we have had sick kids for the past 4 months, we had a BABY, we potty trained, we bought our first car, we have had to learn to balance our lives, I went back to work, and we really haven't had much time to date. I love this man with my whole heart and we have some big decisions ahead of us. We have some major praying and thinking to do and I can't imagine a better person to go through it with.

I can't believe that 4 years ago I was debating if Spencer was the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with! He is literally everything that I'm not! We have the same sense of humor, we pick each other up when it matters the most, we compliment each other's personalities, and we have more patience for each other than I ever thought we would need. Our life has not been easy, but we have been so greatly blessed and I can't believe that we are about to celebrate 4 YEARS OF MARRIAGE next week!! This anniversary might be lower key than others, but I want the world (and myself) to know how seriously grateful for and in love with my forever sweetheart. We have made it through so many things and we aren't done, but together, I know we can make it and come out stronger than ever. I love you Spencer. Happy early Anniversary!!