A Newborn at Christmas

Brynlee was 5 months old the day after Christmas. I have never had a tiny little newborn around the holidays and honestly, it has made this Christmas very different for me, in a good way.

We have heard the birth of Christ told time and time and time again every year from every different Christmas song, book, and church lesson. I could probably say it to you by heart strait from the bible because I have heard it so many times.

But I don't think, until this year, that I have ever stopped to think about it.

But the part that I haven't ever thought of isn't the classic story from the bible. I have spent a lot of time this Christmas season thinking about Mary, as a mother to Jesus. Her side of the story isn't really told, so none of what I am saying is doctrinal by any means, but as a mother of a newborn this Christmas, I have had some thoughts and have felt prompted to share some with you.

1. Being a mother is a task unlike any other I have ever had. It is full of more love, more compassion, more frustration, more anxiety, and more gratitude than I can even put into words.

This past Sunday we went to a Christmas program and they had a little part from Mary. She spoke about when the angel came to see her.

Luke 1: 28-30

       28 And the angel came in unto her, and said, Hail, though that art highly favoured, the Lord is            with thee: blessed art thou among women.
        29 And when she say him, she was troubled at his saying, and cast in her mind what manner of           salutation this should be.
        30 And the angel said unto her, Fear not, Mary: for thou hast found favour with God.

One of the very first things that the angel tells Mary is to "Fear not". The woman in the program said that those words helped her along; as she told Joseph, as she got to the inn, and as she laid in child birth. Fear not.

How hard that must have been to NOT be afraid. I know that I would have been terrified. But how comforting. How comforting to know that Heavenly Father was mindful of her and her fears, and immediately calmed them.

Having just been through child birth, I know that doing it the way Mary did would have been stressful, and scary, and not the way I would want to do it. She rode on a donkey for days. She had to lay down with the animals to have her baby, all alone besides Joseph, when nobody would let her come in. I know that the times were different then, but still. I can imagine that for her this whole experience was somewhat traumatizing. And yet I KNOW that she was chosen for a reason, and that God was with her the entire way, because not only was he her father, he was watching over the mother of his only begotten son.

2. I imagine that Mary was a mother just like me. Well, not just like me. But she raised a baby, just like I am doing. We read about the birth of Christ, we know the wise men came a couple of years later, we know that he taught in the temple when he was 12, and we hear about all of his miracles as an adult. But what about the other years? What about the first few weeks after Jesus was born?

 Mary was trying to figure out breastfeeding. She was trying to bond with this new baby and figure out how to be his mother. She was exhausted from childbirth. She was sore and physically drained. I imagine that Jesus didn't sleep strait through the night from birth. I imagine that he cried, because babies cry. And I imagine that Mary didn't always know what to do to help him. She was a mother. A first time mother, trying to figure everything out!

And I imagine her sitting, hopefully in an inn, staring at her newborn baby in awe of what her body had just created. Staring at each little finger and toe, at his eyes, at his lips. I bet she never wanted to put him down. I bet she napped quietly with him laying on her chest, soaking up every little moment. But the part that really gets me is I'm sure that she had some idea of what was going to happen to her little baby boy. I'm sure that it scared her to death.

I don't want anything to ever happen to my babies. I want them to be happy and perfect and long outlive me. I want them to be loved, to have friends, and to succeed in all that they do. And here sat Mary, this new mother, with more love and admiration then she had ever felt and more hormones surging through her body, staring at her PERFECT baby boy knowing that she was raising the man who was going to die for the sins of the world. Who was going to be mocked, who was going to be hated, and who was going to have to go through so much pain and sorrow. And there was nothing she could do but just hold that baby and love him. To show him that no matter what, there was someone on the Earth who would never do to him the things that the others would do. Someone who loved him more than anything.

3. Mary had to teach Jesus. Yes, Christ had a direct line to God and was a teacher to her and Joseph from the time he was very young. But when he was 2 and barely learning to talk, I'm sure that he was a handful. I'm sure that he got into things and drove Mary and Joseph a little crazy sometimes. I'm sure that he needed help being taught right from wrong. And I'm sure that trying to be the perfect example for the Son of God was terrifying for her. I already feel, in my life, that there is so much to teach my girls to prepare them for the world. I am overwhelmed with the thought of sending them into the world without a solid foundation and without me there to push them back in the right direction. Can you imagine being Mary, and having to not necessarily be afraid that he was going to go off the strait and narrow, but to be afraid of him not knowing how to handle life? As I imagine Mary, I imagine her trying to prepare Jesus for his life. To make him strong enough to handle it. To make him brave enough to handle it. And to want to help him through it. What a task. Another task that I KNOW Mary was hand chosen for.

This Christmas, the birth of Jesus has felt much more like real life and less like a story. When I hear or think about it, I think of it like it actually happened, not just like a story. It feels so much more personal. And while I know all of this is just stuff that my brain has come up with, I like to believe that life back then wasn't so different than it is now. That Mary danced around the living room with her baby boy, singing him songs, playing with toys, and hugging and kissing him until he told her to "STOP MOM!" I like to think that their life wasn't picture perfect like it seems in every picture, movie, or story. And I like to believe that Heavenly Father looks out for me just like he did for Mary. He gives me the same access to Him, to His love, and to the PEACE that He brings, that he did to Mary.

I know that my Savior lives. I know that he was born to an Amazing woman who is the purest example of faith that I can think of. I know that he came to Earth as a baby and went through life just like we do. I know that because he did this, he has felt every emotion, every pain, every sorrow, every joy, and every ounce of love that we do. I know that he died and was resurrected for ME and for each and every one of us so that we can be with our families FOREVER and return to our Father in Heaven.

And while I think that Mary had a very hard and emotional life, I KNOW that she feels the joy that I feel. That she is with her son again in Heaven and she doesn't have to worry about him anymore. And we can all feel that if we come unto Christ and take advantage of his sacrifice for us. God lives, and he LOVES us. And I hope that we can really feel of that LOVE and that PEACE this Christmas season.