Let me paint you a picture...

Picture Wal Mart. Picture a woman walking into Wal Mart with a sleeping baby in her car seat, taking her time browsing.

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 Now picture the baby waking up. She's happy! She is smiling and giggling and just being that cute baby you walk by and just want to stare at because she is so cute! (gushy mommy moment :)) Now.

Picture the baby starts to get unhappy. She starts kind of fussing and this woman is trying to give her her binky and starts shopping a little bit quicker, realizing she should have just shopped and gotten out of there while baby was sleeping. See this woman going isle to isle looking for one specific thing that she can't seem to find and the baby is starting to scream.

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 The woman finally gives up and finishes finding the rest of her stuff. Baby? SCREAMING her head off. It's time to check out. This woman pulls into the closest lane and there is only one person in front of her. She can do it. Sure the baby is crying hysterically but at least she isn't trying to shop anymore so she can talk to the baby and try to get her to calm down. Not really working. Turns out the lady in front of this stressed out mother knows the cashier and has to get the update on her son and on all of the details of her life. COME ON! THE BABY IS SCREAMING!

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 Finally it is this woman's turn. She starts unloading her groceries onto the counter. The cashier is very nice and says, "I'm going to go so quickly because I can sense you have an unhappy little one". Thank you lady :). At this point, the woman has taken the car seat out of the cart and is bouncing it on her arm while loading the groceries into the cart. Then, baby poops. Let's add to the insanity. Once the groceries are loaded and the woman has checked out, she takes the baby over to the bathroom to change her diaper. She lets a cashier know that she is going to the bathroom and asks them to watch her cart. She goes over to the bathroom only to realize that it is closed for cleaning. GREAT!!! She grabs her cart and is pushing it with one arm while bouncing the screaming baby on the other arm. 'I will just change her in the car' the woman thinks to herself and heads out of the store, awkwardly pushing the cart FULL of heavy groceries with her left hand and trying to soothe the baby screaming on her right arm. She was moving at snails pace and starting to make a scene. She switches baby to the left arm thinking that she can move quicker pushing with her right arm. Well, that wasn't happening. She bent down and tried to push the cart with both hands with the car seat hanging on her left forearm....OW! That didn't last long. She finally made it outside and was about to cross the street when a car pulled up and decided to be kind and let her walk before it passed. Normally, that would have been very nice...except right now. Now this woman has to quickly cross the street with her screaming baby and one handed cart pushing while people are staring directly at her. Oh what a sight! She tried to push with both hands again, almost breaking her forearm, and hobbles across the street. She starts making her way to the car. She is so close...just has to pass one more car before she is there. Then the cart starts to veer off. The one handed pushing isn't strong enough to keep the cart on track. The woman comes so close to scraping up a car that she actually has to stop the cart and use all of her strength to move it an inch. She gets to the car. HALLELUJAH!! She takes baby out the car seat and changes her diaper in the back of the car. Finally, silence...baby is happy.

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She buckles her back in and sets her in the seat so that she can load up the groceries. Screaming. This woman loads her groceries in world record time and gets in the car. Baby is still screaming. And scream she did until it got so bad that this woman had to pull over at a QT, unbuckle the baby, and pick her up.

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Baby stops crying instantly.

Ladies and Gentlemen, that woman....is me.
WORST. SHOPPING TRIP. EVER.

(Pictures 3, 4, and 6 are not my child, but accurately describe the look she had on her face at those points in the story. Photos courtesy of google.)